description of suspects:
1 male, white, middle aged, short dark hair & mustache, approximately 6'5" tall, 220lbs, last seen wearing bad mustard colored suit, patterned shirt and tie (all circa 1964). Wanted for fashion crimes, scotch breath, and disturbing the peace after 11 pm;
1 female, white, middle aged, short blonde hair, garish make-up, 5'8" in height, 120 lbs, last seen inappropriately wearing cocktail dress. Wanted for public smoking and misuse of blue box recycling program.